Ep 57: Perimenopause Beyond Hormones: Blood Sugar, Fascia & Nervous System Truths

In this episode, Dr. Mary shares her perimenopause story — from going through chemotherapy at 33, to years of painful periods and confusing symptoms, to finally realizing she had been in perimenopause all along. That turning point reshaped not only how she cares for herself and her clients, but also the direction of this podcast.

Dr. Mary is shifting the focus of TMI Talk toward perimenopause and midlife health, because this transition is about so much more than hormones. As an orthopedic and pelvic floor physical therapist, she brings a perspective that expands beyond prescriptions and protocols to include fascia, lymphatic flow, visceral mobility, movement, and nervous system regulation.

In this episode, listeners will learn:

• How chemo and endometriosis can set the stage for early perimenopause.
• Why estrogen, insulin resistance, and midlife weight gain are often connected.
• How fascia and lymph play a role in symptoms like brain fog, swelling, and fatigue.
• Why chronic stress can mimic or magnify hormone changes.
• What rehab professionals can do to support women in perimenopause beyond “just HRT.”
• Why understanding seasons of energy — balancing hustle with rest — is vital for long-term health.
• How Dr. Mary’s upcoming research on fascia and lymph aims to shed light on overlooked aspects of perimenopause.

This episode marks a new season for TMI Talk — one that breaks myths, shares real tools, and reframes perimenopause as a time to reclaim strength, clarity, and connection to the body.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Direction

01:19 Personal Health Journey and Perimenopause

04:15 Understanding Perimenopause Symptoms

07:08 Navigating Health and Movement

10:46 Creating an Intentional Life

18:23 Fascia, Lymphatic System, and Movement

23:55 Exploring Progesterone Tolerance

24:46 Understanding Blood Sugar Regulation

26:02 Navigating Emotional and Physical Health

26:47 Spiritual Bypassing and Nervous System Burnout

28:36 Community Support and Personal Growth

30:58 The Importance of Self-Care

32:57 Financial and Emotional Well-being

37:07 Embracing Pain and Growth

47:11 Future Research and Community Engagement

49:18 Conclusion and Call to Action

Want support for perimenopause that goes beyond hormones?

Whether you (or your clients) are taking HRT but still having symptoms, not ready for it, or can’t tolerate it...there’s more we can do.

I’ll be sharing practical tools from a movement and rehab perspective, focusing on the nervous system, fascia, lymph, viscera, and musculoskeletal system.

If you want updates on workshops, resources, and strategies to support this phase of life more fully, would love you to join my email list.

Subscribe to my email list here

I’ll see you in 2 weeks!

PS:

If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please fill out the form here.

Transcript

0:00

Hey everyone, welcome back. I am back after a few months of taking some time off the podcast to really regroup and figure out my direction and where I wanted to go, and I'll dive more of into that in the episode. But wanna give you a quick summary of what this episode's about so you can understand what's what's coming next. So. First, I am going to talk about the direction that I'm going to be going into with the podcast. It's gonna be more perimenopause, midlife focused, because there's a lot beyond hormone replacement therapy that can be helpful during this time, and I'd love to share all those resources with you. Um, next it's gonna be going over what those resources are, right? What can we do? I'm a physical therapist, so there's a lot we can do from a movement and rehab perspective to help people, even educating people on their bodies and understanding just some of the basics of hormones and how this affects movement and pain, and mobility and brain fog and all these. Different things that we can really expand outside of the box. And you don't necessarily need to be a movement and rehab professional to, to listen to this episode, but it's really informative to help people understand globally the whole body and not just isolated to maybe some, a specific joint or symptom. So we'll be going over that and updating you a little bit on my perimenopause journey and what really opened me up to. Committing to this niche because I've been hesitant to commit to any niche because it's scary if anybody's ever built an online brand. It's really hard to kind of figure out what you're passionate about, what you're good at, and and what you really love to do. And so I really feel like I found that, and it's been a lot of trial and error over the years of really fine tuning my voice and honestly not realizing I was in perimenopause until the last few months. Because I had been dealing with chronic health issues after chemo, um, for the last five years. So maybe six, just depending on, um, timelines. Anyways, super happy that you're here and I am incredibly appreciative of you listening and yeah, I know that this podcast is, has been super incredible for me because I. I love what I do. I love connecting with people, and I love sharing information that helps people intuitively understand their body so without further ado, we'll jump into the episode.

mary: 2:37

Welcome back to TMI talk with Dr. Mary where we dive into non-traditional forms of health that were once labeled as taboo or dismissed as Woo. I'm your host, Dr. Mary Grimberg. I'm an orthopedic and pelvic floor physical therapist who helps people navigate perimenopause by addressing the fascia. Lymphatic system, musculoskeletal system, viscera and the nervous system. My whole body approach goes beyond hormone replacement therapy, showing how movement and rehab professionals can play a much bigger role in this process. And now we'll start our next episode.

3:11

Welcome back to TMI talk with Dr. Mary. I'm your host, Dr. Mary. I wanted to give you all an update on what's been going on with me, and then we'll dive into the direction of the podcast. So if. Over the last few months, I just needed to take some time to regroup, record some other episodes, and really hone in on my intention with the information that I put out in the world. We're gonna be going more in a perimenopause direction. And, and this doesn't mean that. Everything that I say has to be exactly about perimenopause. It can be anything related to midlife, anything that affects our health outside of what we consider traditional health. Um, you know, the podcast is more of how, uh, non-traditional approaches to health that are beyond the confines of Western medicine. So I, I always like to bridge eastern and western medicine because I say Western medicine saved my life with, you know, chemotherapy. And then eastern medicine saved my quality of life, and I believe. Truly that we need to be looking at this from a different lens. Um,'cause it's being really medicalized right now. And I had realized after chemotherapy, so I went through chemo when I was 33. I really think that I've been in perimenopause since then.'cause I lost my period during chemotherapy. I couldn't feel my genitals at all. I. Lost my hair. I had gained weight, I lost muscle mass. And then after chemo, all of that started to come back, thankfully. But what I didn't realize is that my periods just started to be excruciating. I mean, they were twice a month just crippling pain. And I get like worked up talking about it because like I was just told, just keep going. How do you tell somebody that 10 days out of a month, they're hardly functioning and they have to push through to just go on birth control or just wait it out and, and I just, I didn't like that answer. I, I just, it didn't feel good. It felt like I was crazy and nobody mentioned perimenopause to me. Um, and I'm not hating on any practitioners. I just think it's the state of the Western culture that we're in. And then slowly what happened is then I started gaining weight. I, I put on like 30 pounds out of nowhere and my body type hasn't been the type to just fluctuate weight very much. I mean, maybe five or 10 pounds. And it's not a genetic thing in my family. I've always worked out. Um, I've always valued eating well, and yes, there were some fluctuations where maybe I didn't eat as as well, but to gain 30 pounds was a bit insane. Um, and so that was also something that I didn't understand. My cholesterol started getting just super high. My blood sugar skyrocketed and I developed all this body fat. I had severe cystic acne and. I was just like, what the fuck is going on? And. First we were, one of my doctors, thankfully, told me it was insulin resistance for the weight gain. So we started working on that and I had to understand, oh my gosh, blood sugar regulation is everything during this time. You know, if our blood sugar is not regulated, estrogen supports insulin. And so it can't regulate blood sugar the way that it normally would, and so we developed more fat around our belly. So this is why you see this during perimenopause, but I had no idea what this was because now they're saying perimenopause can happen as early as 35. So people with, um, history of endometriosis, we're finding there's some correlation between, perimenopause happening earlier, especially if you have lesions on the ovaries. Because that can impair blood flow. And I'm not saying this to scare people'cause there's a lot that we can really do. Like I've learned so much over the last few years about how to help this and tying it all together., People are getting gaslit in their thirties, like, I mean, they're still getting gaslit. Perimenopause can happen as soon as 35, but it can be sooner for people that have medical conditions like myself. And so people are being gaslit. Left and right, right now by their practitioners. Right? Even though we have a big movement happening, it's still happening. Um, and when you're in chronic stress, right? That also can mimic perimenopause as well. But there's this whole thing of you're too young. You're too young, are you still getting your periods? And that is just bullshit. Like that is just old information. You could still get your period and your hormones can look normal. On paper, but it's based on your symptoms too. And over the last six years, have really had to dive in and understand my body in ways that I was mad about. I was angry that I had to do this. Well, why? Why do I have to change so much in my life? Why do I. Have to slow down. Why do I have to do these things? And, and, and, um, what I realized it was, you know, after time it was a gift, right? It's an invitation to look inward. It was an invitation to understand my body. And

mary: 8:24

my body had been fighting for me for a long time, and I wasn't listening. I didn't know how to listen. We're not taught how to listen because our culture capitalizes on the power being taken outside of our bodies. And so I've had to learn understanding what nervous system regulation looks like and it's not breath work. Yes, breath work is a tool, but it's understanding why am I running around with my head cut off? Why do I feel. That

8:56

I'm,

mary: 8:56

I can't put up a boundary'cause I'm scared somebody's gonna not like me.

9:00

And,

mary: 9:01

and those are the things that keep us in that loop of chronic nervous system dysregulation And what I found is the best way to start understanding how to regulate your nervous system is by simply slowing down. Just like literally slowing down your movements. Do you need to rush to the car right this second? Do you, do we need to, does everything have to feel so urgent? I know there are gonna be times where things do feel urgent, but just starting to question, why am I doing that? Why am I tensing my body up when I'm driving? Why am I really squeezing my legs together? Why am I squeezing my butt? And so part of it is inviting ourselves to really look into our body and starting to recognize these patterns.'cause um, breath work, red light therapy, cold plunge, all of these things are being promoted from a wellness perspective. Those things, those are tools. Those can be helpful. Those are tools for the deeper work.

9:55

The deeper work is the hard shit that. People don't wanna do because it's shadow work. It's looking at yourself in a, in a light of what are my triggers? Why am I being triggered? How can I have more peace in my life? And I think a lot of us women, I think everybody at this point wants peace, right? I mean, not everybody, there's a lot of people that wanna still fight, but you're, you're seeing a, um, a big consensus of people really shifting to, I just want peace. You know, I want, I want a slower life. Maybe I make less money or whatever it is. Maybe I spend more time with my family. And what we're seeing is this kind of collective movement of, we went from this whole feminist movement of women can do anything and it's, it's the world, you know, is your oyster. And yes, I believe that, but also. You know, I wanted children and there's been a lot of issues with fertility and me being a carrier for a terminal illness and then, um, having endometriosis and then chemotherapy on top of it, and I'm almost 40, like I'm not interested in having children anymore. But if I did, and I see my friends doing this, the people that are close to me, they're genuinely wanting to build a life that supports their children and their home and. Living a slower life that really is filled with true intention and love. And the reason I say that is because. I don't think we can fully commit to everything. I think something has to give, and I think that's a lie in our culture, that we can do it all. And to be honest, it's exhausting staying in masculine energy. It's nice to sit back and, and receive and be in our feminine. And if you haven't ever looked into that, just it's very, um, I'd say feminine energy is more of like receiving and being in flow and. And masculine energy is do, do, do hustle, hustle, hustle. And I think you can have a blend of the two and masculine is like taking charge and things like that. But neither one are bad. It's just when you have this imbalance of heavily on one versus the other, and what you're seeing, it's, it's taking a toll. I think is really taking a toll on our bodies And, um. I am all about female empowerment, but I'm also about realism and, and what do we want. You know, I'm a big believer in seasons, so I have plenty of friends right now that are in seasons of, they're staying at home with their kids. And um, or they're in a season of hustle at work where like the kids are in school and they're focusing on that, or they're like me, maybe they don't have kids, but their season is, I was just more in a season of rest. And so now I am opening up more to a season of, um, producing and. And really getting out there and really chasing my dreams because I've built my nervous system up to be able to tolerate criticism, to be able to challenge current beliefs, to be able to put myself out there, which seemed so scary many years ago. And so my point is this, is that you don't have to be, we don't have to be all one thing. We can be in a season, and I love the idea of seasons. I'm always gonna be more intentional with my time, who I spend time with, who I connect with. Even the clients that we attract at the clinic, we want people that are respectful, kind, and value our services, right? So everything in my bubble, I would really like to cultivate a loving, kind, reciprocal relationship, which is not taught honestly in business. And so I'm all about energy. So if there is a. If there's any disrespect for my energy and my time, I will have to confront that and see does that person not understand how they're behaving? So I'm challenging them to rise up. Or are they gonna become defensive and blame me? And so you get to kind of challenge those beliefs and be like, okay, maybe I need to have this difficult conversation and challenge this person to, maybe not challenge is the right word, but, hey, did you mean to say that?'cause this is how it's coming off to me. Can you explain versus a current narrative a lot. That I'm seeing on social media is just cut people off. And I did that for a long time. I cut a lot of people off because that was just easier. I cut my family off because they are so extreme from the difference of my own beliefs. But the reality is, is it's my family and, and I love them and they drive me nuts sometimes, but. Yeah, and maybe I needed that time to kind of cut them out. And there are still people that I've had to cut out because I've asked them, Hey, these, or I've said, Hey, these, the way you talk to me is hurtful in this capacity, and it's been met with. Um, the people that I've had to cut out of my life has been met with defensiveness, reactivity and blaming me in gaslighting, and that's not somebody I wanna necessarily be around. And so now think about that from a nervous system perspective. If we're hanging out with all people like that and not able to decipher who are my true friends? Right. That can be such a wreaking havoc on your nervous system. Like who are the people that we're around that are like our zero battery friends? So those people that can help us regulate, right? The people like, Hey, I'm not, I need a friend to talk to right now. And they're not trying to fix, they're not trying to do, they're just there now. Healing is about being witnessed in that, right? So. So much of this is understanding how to really put up our boundaries, how to cultivate a life that supports us. And um, I understand I don't have children and then, and it's more flexible for me to be able to do things. And I tell that to my girlfriends that have a few kids, especially when they're younger, they'll say, how are you doing all of this? And I remind them. I'm like, girl, like I don't have kids like. Let me build the foundation and you can join me and, and we can build something together. But you're in a season of, of needing to build our next generation, right? And that's important is, is to be able to do that. And so I eventually wanna provide opportunities for, um, other clinicians too, that are aligned with my value system and, um, live with integrity. But also, you know, maybe if I need to be the person that's. S helping build platforms that help people like that come on and, and share their gifts that maybe they didn't have the time to do because they're raising the next generation. I am happy to do that. And this might feel like a big tangent, but the whole point of all of this is understanding, creating like a, an intentional life and what that, and what that looks like for us. And so, um, headed back to understanding, you know, earlier this year I also talked about shifting to focusing more on health and movement professionals from a lymph fascia. Perspective, and I'm still in that direction. It's just we're veering more perimenopause. And what I was realizing as I started really researching all this and really sitting with it, resonating with was, oh my gosh, I'm not just in perimenopause now. I have been in it this whole time. And so. Understanding how we can help from even just building muscle strength and so much of people are pushing right now for heavy weights. I'm just saying, let's just start moving even just basic squats without weights, because sometimes people have joint pain and they can't squat. And then the solution that we're hearing is we'll take HRT'cause there's estrogen receptors in the joint. Yeah, I hear you. But there's still people that are taking HRT and still having symptoms, or there are people that are not ready to take it, they don't wanna take it or it's contraindicated for. And so we wanna respect all of those people because if you don't fall into this bucket of this one size fits all protocols that. Seems like to me is being promoted because that sells, right? And so what doesn't sell as easily is teaching people about their bodies. And so that's the path that I'm going to,'cause I do believe it is something that people want and it's just not as flashy. It's not as cool on social media. But I know there are more people like me. There are my patients in the clinic. Um, there's people like myself, there's my friends, I'm talking to people. I'm having these conversations, and I know there's a need. Like I, I just know it. And so understanding the lymphatic system, the lymphatic system flows through, so we've got your skin, then you've got these like skin ligaments that are vertical, and then they attach to the fascia. So that's your first layer, fascia. It's called superficial. In between those two layers. You have your super, we call it superficial fat. Um, but in that layer too, we also have our lymphatic system. So the lymphatic system is super helpful for supporting our immune system. And fascia can become restricted during perimenopause because it becomes thicker, as estrogen receptors on the fascia. And so when the estrogen decreases, our fascia becomes thicker. So those highways that move in between the skin. And the superficial vacia become restricted so we can get impaired lymph flow. So you might hear this called stagnant lymph. And different signs of of that can be brain fog, feeling swollen. Exhausted, irritable, all of these things that are very similar to the typical, you know, perimenopause shifts that people are experiencing. And now also from the digestive route. Um, there's so much from a health and movement professional. If you've never heard of visceral mobility, viscera is basically. So we have our large intestine, small intestine. You've got your stomach, you've got your uterus, you've got your ovaries, you've got your bladder. All of these different things are all in our abdomen. And in that those things can become restricted with time. Whether we've had surgeries, maybe C-sections or any laparoscopic surgeries or just even chronic breath holding.'cause we've been told, oops, suck in, you know, nobody wants to see a belly. And that's what we learned in the nineties. And now what we've got is all these people just holding their breath, bracing their abdomen. And now we're not getting this, you know, fluid mobility like as we inhale our diaphragm. Presses down on our intestines and it acts like a little pump. And so now if we're bracing and holding our abdomen, when we push that pump down, the belly can't expand out. So you're not getting that massaging of our, um. Of our digestive tract just throughout the day just for breath.'cause we're bracing and holding. And so that triggers the body to think we're in fight or flight because it we're bracing, it thinks we're being chased by a bear. So we have to show the body that it's safe. We can't tell it. It speaks a different language than you and I speak to each other. And so that's understanding that intuitive nature of our bodies. And so we can work on the diaphragm bringing that up. We can work on the viscera. The viscera so that those tissues are, um, being held up by fascia as well. And so fascia can, um, when that's impaired, right, we know it's impaired during perimenopause, is that also restricting the movement? Because if, if your bowels can't move freely, you're gonna feel, it's gonna feel. Stuck and then you can get gas pains, you can get bloating, you can get constipation. It's so many of these different things. And so even if maybe you don't know how to do visceral mobility, just think about pelvic movement like belly dancing, anything that's gonna get dissociating, like the upper body from, so the chest. Thoracic spine and your ribcage from your pelvis, so you could kind of do just understand that just getting that movement. Think about all of the movements that we do throughout the day. They're so linear. When I say linear, they're in this forward plane. When we do squats, we walk forward, return. It's very, there's not a lot of side to side movement. It's all more in this forward plane, and now think about your fascia is becoming restricted because you're staying in the same plane. We're not really challenging it to adapt to different movements. So that's also one thing that can be helpful is trying different types of exercise to help train the fascia to feel how to move in different ways. And then underneath of that, you know, through that, that especially that first layer between the superficial fascia and this. Skin, you're gonna have that lymphatic flow, so that's gonna help with that mobility. So any type of dancing can be super great. Jumping on a trampoline, you know, all these little things. And as I say, jumping on a trampoline if you have it. If you're somebody that leaks when you jump on a trampoline. There's a lot that you can still do to help rehab, um, your body so that way you don't leak. But those are some really cool ways to really think about it. And now kind of going back to digestion too, is understanding how your hip flexor and your ovaries are right on top of each other. They're right near each other. And you also have the ileocecal valve. So, that right lower quadrant, this is where the small intestine meets the large intestine and if that gets restricted a lot of times constipation and, and. Bloating can occur in that area because that valve is restricted, so we're not able to get that flow as easily into the colon. So there's, you could start seeing how there's so many ways that we can help from just a non-hormonal perspective. And by the way, I just wanna clarify, I am not against HRT. It hasn't worked for me, so I started progesterone and just, just did not tolerate it. At first, I was, but then it just seems super sleepy, swollen, irritable. I even dosed it super low too, and there's some people that have issues tolerating progesterone and there's other different ways that they can, um, insert progesterone into the body. But right now I want to dis. See can, what can I do to help with this? Like what can I do before taking hormones? Because I haven't been somebody that's ever been able to tolerate any oral birth control. And so I'm not opposed to taking it myself. I don't at this time in my life, I, it's not something I wanna take for the rest of my life. I, if I use it, I think I'd probably use it as a transitional period to, um, to help me ease into perimenopause. Um, I know there's a lot of fear based information coming out of, oh, if you don't take estrogen, your bone loss is gonna be affected and you might get Alzheimer's and all this stuff. But the reality is, um. When we're looking at dementia, there's, there's studies starting to come out saying that this is a metabolic disease, and some people call it type three diabetes, and now. I'm not a specialist on dementia, but I will say that a lot of these issues can be regulated, um, in perimenopause with understanding blood sugar regulation and metabolic syndrome is when the body's getting so used to the insulin. It just, it's not hearing it, it's not responding as efficiently. So we get a buildup of glucose in our blood. And so even educating people on this and understanding, hey, yes, strengthening can help with that, walking after meals, but also caffeine can do that. Raise blood sugar, stress can raise it, certain medications can. So it's not all about just sugar. So people will think, well, I don't eat sugar. Well, you don't have to eat sugar to notice these fluctuations in your blood sugar. Like for me, mine actually spikes when I eat sweet potatoes and when I was using my inhaler, and if I had more than one cup of coffee. I don't eat a ton of sugar. There are phases where I do, maybe around my birthday. I ate like cake every day for like two weeks, and then I had diarrhea and I was like, maybe I shouldn't be doing that. And then I adjust it, right? I'm trying not to shame myself as I'm learning what works and so we have to start noticing our poops. Like, are they consistent every day? Do we need MiraLax to poop or, or coffee? Because that's still signs that were constipated. And yes, there are estrogen receptors on the gut, but also what other ways can we help?'cause again, it's just one tool. And so if you've been bracing your whole life and your body's been in fight or flight forever,'cause it's really trying to protect itself. It's gonna, we need to pull ourselves out of that. And it's not about not being in fight or flight. Like, let me just nip that in the bud. I've, I've delved down this whole rabbit hole. I went more into some different spiritual communities local to Austin and just kind of in general. And I've realized there's something called spiritual bypassing where people don't want to look at the state of the world or what's actually happening and just dissociate. Um, meanwhile there's then the types of people that are just so in it and just so enraged and just constantly feeling like they've gotta fight. And so your nervous system's gonna burn out here and this is just dissociation. So how can we still live in this world where there is amongst chaos? Right? Um. There's some major changes happening in our country, and I do have hope for our country. I really do. I believe that people are waking up to realizing we were pinned against each other so other people can have more power. And this isn't a political episode, it's more of us understanding. I think people are waking up to that and realizing, hey, it's, it's about more about peace. And you're obviously gonna always have extremist and things like that, but how can I understand what's going on? I don't have to conquer the world. I don't have to save the world. How? How can I show up in this current world? How do I wanna be remembered and what energy do I want to put into the world? And so right now what you're seeing is a lot of people. Just resharing fear-based stuff because it sells and it gets views and it gets traction and it, social media loves that, but people are getting exhausted by that. And so, um, my point is, what, what can we do to help? Because I feel like if I'm not, if I'm talking about nervous system regulation, I have to talk about the current state of, of where we are in the United States because it feels pretty. Dissociated to just not talk about that. And so the way that I look at it is this, I am supporting my community by showing up, giving love, having an open ear, really trying to understand somebody else's perspective and just be kind, I mean a listening ear, and be around people that give me mutual respect as well. And I am also running a perimenopause supportive community event monthly where we can all openly talk and discuss and have it be uplifting. And then teaching people about the bodies in the clinic, their bodies.'cause when you understand your body and you truly dive into it, this is a soul level connection. This is. Where we find our inner truth, our inner peace, our direction in life.'cause the body will show us, it will show us when we are maybe off the course at sub capacity. And so like you could tell I'm a little congested right now. And so I've been congested for a couple weeks because what happened with me is, okay, yes, I have a cold, there's allergies, stuff like that. But I think I was more susceptible to this because I got really drawn into, um, the state of the world. And I became obsessed with going on social media and just going down this rabbit hole and obsessing, and I couldn't, I just couldn't feel myself get out. And then I went down the shame hole because I was like, you teach people about nervous system regulation and you can't even regulate your nervous system yourself like this is, so I talk to myself, so then I have to sit with it and go, no. I'm human. I never said that I was perfect at this. I don't have all of the answers and I will never say I have all the answers.'cause I think that's a load of shit. And quite honestly, I'm kind of exhausted by the people that constantly think they have the answers because they don't. And when I see those people behind closed doors, I'm like, it's definitely a show. And so I'm trying to just avoid focusing on that. But my point was then I didn't sleep well. There was a lot going on. I just started focusing on all the negative in the world, and then I got sick. And so what that was, it was almost like I, the way I look at it is my body being like, Hey, like come, come back. I have a short leash with karma, so it's just like go back, go back on track, slow down, rest, recover, come out of it. And so working to decrease my. Uses of social media when that's going on, but still understanding what is going on in the world and coming out of it so chronic. It's not about having chronic stress, sorry. It's not about being stressed, it's about coming out of it. I've heard somebody once at a conference say, we should never be in fight or flight. And I was, I was really angry about it.'cause I just could not believe the privilege that somebody can say by saying that. Like, just, just imagine if you never. Ever had your nervous system heightened? You must have all of your bills paid for. You must have somebody else working to pay those bills. Maybe you must never go in public. You must never have difficult conversations. And that's just not reality. I mean, that's a utopian society and that is just not this lifetime, maybe another lifetime, maybe another. Galaxy, I don't know, you know? But the reality is, is we have to come out of it. And so what we can do with that? And so if I'm having trouble getting out of it and I can't self-regulate, I call a friend who understands, and then we self-regulate together. And it's taking me some time to find friends that are doing this similar work too, and so we can kind of help each other versus trying to fix it, if that makes sense. So just somebody, somebody to kinda sit with you. And then I also take care of myself. I work with an energy healer. I also work with, um, a massage therapist on a regular basis. And then my staff and I, we work on each other. We're all having our symptoms, so I'm really prioritizing taking care of myself while I'm building a business and a life that I love. So all of my wealth buckets are full. So my personal health bucket, my relationship bucket, my time flexibility bucket. Um, and then financial. And for me, the financial part is the piece that has been coming last and I've been resistant and angry about it for some time. But the reality is, is that's the way that I was supposed to learn.'cause if, if the money came first and I didn't build all those other buckets, I don't think I'd be appreciative of it as much. And so I'm just trusting the process that the universe, God, source, whatever you wanna call that's above us is, has this path for me. And so my point of also saying that is, that's also important for nervous system regulation because, um, I was an atheist, so I grew up in a hyper conservative community, um, and hyper religious. Very controlling. And you know, I was very angry about that for some time and I've had conversations with my family about it and realized that, you know, they were doing the best that they could with the information that they've had. So I've really released a lot of that anger. Um, over the years. I was very angry about it. Side note, you don't wanna hold anger because Eastern Medi in Eastern medicine, liver holds anger and we need liver to break down estrogen and to help our body. With digestion and all these properties that help support the body during perimenopause. So if the liver is stagnant with anger, it's important that we're also addressing that as well. Like where are we holding resentment? And so, um, kind of back to where I was going with this is, so then I went to, um, atheism.'cause I was like, I mean, what kind of God would. Give me cancer, make me go through a horrible divorce. Then COVID hit. Then my father-in-law, who was like a dad to me, dying all in a year, I was just like, who, how, how does that happen? And, and what I realized is that was like the most trans, the one of the most transformative years because COVID forced me to sit in my house and really think and, and go to therapy and really look at my shit that I would've never done, honestly. Like I was getting ready to. Go travel the world and then COVID hit.'cause I wanted to dissociate'cause I didn't know how to handle my shit. And so where I'm going with this is I truly believe that when we believe in a loving, kind, greater force than us, some people call it God. Some people saw it, source light energy, whatever you want to call it, universe. I believe there's something bigger that is looking out for us and has a timeline that's different than what we think in our minds. So anytime some shit happens to me, I have to understand either why is this happening for me? If it's something that's really horrible, I don't say that. I say, how can I turn this into something beautiful? Right? Because there are some things that you just can't explain that are, that are just gut wrenchingly, horrible. And if, if, if you've been through something gut-wrenching yourself or if you've known somebody who has tragically taken from you, you know, you can't really explain that. You can't really say like, oh, it happened for me. Well, it's, you can't say that that person was tragically taken. It's more of what, what can I make from this shitty situation that's positive? And so I don't like to say everything happens for a reason because I feel like that's discounting the pain that happens when we go through stuff. And so leaning on something greater than us and whatever that means to you, right? Because I know I had more anxiety and more stress when I just felt like I had to do everything myself and that there was nobody looking out for me. And um, I've realized some. You know, something has for a long time and I've gotten a lot of signs of, of being in the right direction and the universe kind of guiding me. I mean, there's, there's just been so many gifts along the way, but it's, it's hard to see those gifts when you're in the thick of it. And so if you're in the thick of it right now, just understand that you're gonna learn something from this after, and it's just a shitty season, and you'll get out of this season and it will be better. It is not gonna be better all the time. And that was also something too that was chronically just running my nervous system is like, when is it just gonna get better? Like once I hit this healing, then it's just gonna be better. Well, I realized that was chronically disappointing me because every time I felt like I was in a good place, something bad happened, right? Like my brother passed in January and I was just regulated for months after and still am like grief pops up every now and again. The other day I was in Taos in Mexico and I was just at a cafe, and all of a sudden I just started getting severe anxiety and then just busted out crying and I was like, wow, that's grief. And I know that's grief because I've really, it just, it just felt. It just comes out, it just pops out. And we're used to suppressing that. And so if I just kept that in, that would have chronically dysregulate in my nervous system. And so I have many friends and many clients right now that are in a very tough season.'cause you know, we're hitting forties, people's marriages are being challenged. They're really having to look at their livelihood, like what they're doing. They may feel like they don't have direction. Things are rocky at home. You know, it's like this season of man, I don't really know what's going on and can we sit in that season and be like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. But I am trusting that something is better in another season. But this is a tough season right now and this is a learning season. And unfortunately as humans, we learn through a lot of pain. It's just the human experience. Some people are naturally. Maybe don't. I don't believe that per se. I think maybe some people are more, they come on this earth in this lifetime and they are more in tune with the spiritual realm. But, so I don't like to say blanket statements, but I'd say for the majority of us, we have to learn through pain and what that means. And I say pain, not suffering.'cause I believe suffering's a choice. Suffering is like ruminating in it. Pain as you feel it and move through it versus like ruminating. And so I also think ruminating can be dissociating too.'cause you're like, I don't wanna feel it up. I don't wanna feel it. It's gonna pop off eventually, so we might as well feel it and move through it. So the way I like to look at it is like, I think I overheard, overheard it was somebody on social media was just saying, life is almost like this Mario Super Mario's game where you're just trying to up level to the next level and there's no ending of the level. I was talking to a friend the other day that's in a really tough season and she's really having to address her boundaries. And sticking up for herself and people pleasing. And this is a common theme, by the way, with a lot of women, not all, where we have to stand in our truth and our power, and it's incredibly scary because there's reasons why we were people pleasing in the first place. It can be cultural narratives that have happened with us. It can be. How we grew up. It can be a traumatic experience that happened, but I think there's, it's multifaceted here. And, you know, add on other cultural expectations. So if you're not from the US and you're more oppressed as a woman in another culture, these are, these are things that we need to consider when going through perimenopause, is how to support people based on. Their whole selves, not just these protocols. And um, you know, I think protocols, I think people like the idea of it, but the reality is people don't ever stick with it. It's just the way that I like to approach this is intuitively like, what does my body want today? What does it craving today? If it's craving rest, okay, well I'm gonna rest a little bit more. Um, I'm not gonna push through something unless they like, absolutely have to. Right. Maybe I'm tired, I didn't sleep well, but I have to. Um, get some certain things done that day. Okay. But it's just, just important to remember those things. But when I'm circling around to all of this is that if you're in a tough season, it gets better and you'll look back and you'll be like, oh man, I don't really wish to go back that. But I learned a lot. Like I am happy that I learned everything I did. After all the things that had happened to me, and that's just skimming the surface of, of what did. Um, and I'm thankful that it built me up to the character that I am today. It was a lot of hard work, a lot of really sitting with some uncomfortable narratives that I've been saying to myself. A lot of deep rooted shame and fear of being unloved, but also exhausted by being inauthentic. And I'm tired of not being authentic and, and what that means, I'm tired of worrying about what everybody thinks all the time. And I saw a quote the other day, I just reposted on my story. It's, you can be one of two things you can be universally liked, which is, by the way, impossible or you can be authentic and so. I think where this really kind of boils down to is that the more we can really break down to understand why our bodies respond in a certain way and really listening to it and slowing down to pay attention and un understand patterns, then we can start developing our own intuitive sense or what our body needs. Like I know that weight training helps build strength, but I've been, you know, run down. For a couple weeks, you know, like whenever I get any sinus stuff, it lingers a bit more, so I don't have the energy to push myself at the gym. So I've been walking more, getting my lymph moving, getting helping my blood sugar uptake after walking after meals and just getting out in nature because that's when my body feels good. And then when it feels better, then I'll go back to the gym. But there's, there's none of that nuance in some of these protocols. And so. The direction that I'm going will be addressing all of this and midlife challenges and things as a whole person, right? When we're going through these midlife changes, it's really anything from like 35 and up, you know, maybe to 55 or so, and, and, and just thinking about, you know, where some people are caring for their elderly parents while raising children. So people are caring for elderly parents without children. Some people are raising kids, some people are running businesses, and they have a lot of demand and a lot of people they support. So people are all in these different seasons, and it's important that we can teach people to understand their bodies so they can move through these seasons with ease and with without shame. And that is my goal. So what you'll find in the next few podcasts and just from here on out is just different topics. Like we're gonna have one topic talking about the way that we talk to ourselves and using certain words and how that can frame our state of mind. Talking about intuitive eating and what that means. Talking about our money mindset, because money mindset really blocks us from. Getting the resources that we need to help support our bodies during this time. Are we really financially restricted or is that a mindset?'cause those are two different things, right? If you are barely struggling to pay rent, that's totally different than somebody that is just cash poor and they have assets in different, and allocated in different ways that they can pull from. Or maybe somebody that. Might be struggling, but they have access to resources with friends or family that might be able to help. Right? So what is the actual issue that's happening? More often than not, I see that it's just a lack of prioritizing ourselves because we feel guilty that we're spending money on ourselves and not something that has an ROI. So return on the investment, um, if we're a business owner. Um, and I fall into this too, fully guilty of it, and I've had to really check that and go, yeah, maybe I don't have this, but how can I access this resource? Can I use, so CareCredit is a 0% interest credit card that you can use to get health stuff done. So certain places take it, our clinic takes it. Or can you, um. Yeah, just, just look at what we could do to take care of our bodies.'cause the one thing that does not change consistently is our health. And so, so many times I've seen people over the last 14 years of being in practice, it's more often than not, we've been taught to hustle and just bootstrap and just really. You know, save all this money and do all this stuff, and then we retire and then we can travel. But the reality is, is like we're not living our lives in that. And if we're in this like corporate train and then we retire you, you look back and you're like, oh my gosh, I sacrificed all these hours for a company that just didn't care about me. Or maybe I did it for my own company, but that the expense of my health and now I'm burnt out and I wanna burn it to the ground. So we are responsible for our own burnout too. And, and yes, it's easy. Yes, we've been oppressed as women, yes, there's been a lot against us, but we also have the ability to change our mindset on stuff. It's okay to be angry and move through it because of what we've had to go through. It's not okay to stay in it, and we can fight it to we're blue in the face, but fighting never answers anything. It's, it's really, truly. Being in a regulated state that helps us get anywhere we need to in our lives because people will listen more, they'll be heard, we'll be heard, and then we can help get more resources. Oh, and the last thing I wanna share with you too, um, it's really exciting, but, um, with a lot of the fascia changes during perimenopause, I am currently, and, um, I will let you all know. When we find out more information, but I am in the works of working with a biomedical engineer at the University of Texas, and we are starting a research study to look at if improving the superficial vacia mobility in people that are perimenopausal, helps to reduce perimenopausal changes that are affecting people and improve lymphatic flow. And so it's very exciting and we're going to put together a video and then start applying to grants in the next few weeks. But this study. We'll be looking at it from a cellular level and then from a clinical level. And so I will keep you all posted. It's been such an incredible journey to even. Go this route. I was thinking of this the last few months, and really talking to people that have done research and saying, is this a plausible thing? Like, what are you thinking? And I have just gotten heck yes, over and over and over and over. And then this is where I, I really want to go'cause I was complaining so much that research for women's health is limited. And in order for me to be the change that I want to, to see the change that I want in the world, I'm really excited to do this. And so if you happen to know anybody at an institution or if you. Know somebody that has a foundation that might be interested in giving us a grant. I will be updating people on social media about this and on my email list. So please shoot me a message if this is something that you know of anybody that can help support this process. And I will update you along the way. And again, sincerely appreciate everything you've done to support me and. I'm really excited to be on this, this, this journey with you. So until next time. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast. It would be a huge help if you could subscribe and rate the podcast. It helps us reach more people and make a bigger impact. I would also love it if you could join my email list, which is LinkedIn, the caption for podcast updates, upcoming offers and events. You can also find me on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram at Dr. Mary pt. Thanks again.